As Part of its Nouvelle Vague season, Les plages D'Agnes showed at the BFI recently. It’s the first film I'd seen by film director, Agnes Varda, an autobiographical documentary of her life, her art, and her favourite places, beaches, some of which she revisits, and some of which she recreates in alternative spaces; for example, the market streets of a quiet port town are filled with sand and sand castles, around stalls, traders, shoppers et al, as a brass band marches down the street and Agnes directs, and reminisces. Her memories are recreated.

The beach of her childhood opens the film. Somewhere in Belgium, a seaside North Sea resorts ridiculed by the locals for their grey indivisibility. I do not know if this is so as I only made it to the beach in Antwerp, ha or rather the sandy banks of the River Schelde, - but close to Ostende, is this wide and windy ‘first’ beach, an expanse of sand and sea she exploits and manipulates (by) placing mirrors, randomly and in relation to one another across the expanse. Mirrors of different size, shapes, surface and design, face every which way, and each other; reflections, refractions, reflections of reflections, (multiple) views within views, and the almost invisible curve of the horizon, and real vista, actual beach behind, co-exist in widescreen; one view is all views, and none, not real, manipulation of the real create endless possibility; the feeling, my feeling at the beach of boundlessness, hope, and optimism, as sea comes into land, and the mind drifts out to sea, and the unknown, anything could be out there, wherever the current and winds lead you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnès_Varda

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1129435/

Beaches, bathers and bathing

This time, 3 years ago. The other side of the world, winter, and the climate is/was the same as here. Lukewarm masquerades as summer; summer is mostly a notion, and though I am a summer baby, I struggle to sizzle, most likely because the sun rarely complies.

I remember my first walk on the beach that year. After several years absence, home again, over the dunes and ricketty bridge, Tallow Beach, windswept, and arduous under foot. Soft clumps of sand, a heavy walk, one I wished would move more quickly, as the day chased away the sun. Turning back to face home, blasted face, the full force of the wind, pushing me back with each step forward, der dum, der dum, the sky deepen, at some point the sun had set. Navy, black, thick air enclosing, the wind howling; trudge, trudge, effort, no thought. A gust, wet, and then another, strong, a silent roar, and rain, falls, the sky full. I am soaked. I am nearly home. Exhilerated, crazy, my whole body sunk into itself in response, droplet covered periphery shivering. There is nowhere to run to, no way to avoid this soaking. I do not care. I simply laugh, and shake my hair, and shake my hair some more.

A year down the line; a year since I started to 'date' on-line and I find myself still there, and approaching the end of a yet-another-subscription. Having hit the wall, I find myself flailing towards the finish line once more, co-ordination lost, and limbs flailing. I am sick of it all, sick of the people I have found and commited myself to writing to, and particularly sick of myself, omnipresent, all knowing and never satisfied with any of these potential mates, nor what they write. It has been a long time since I have been able to lose myself in a conversation, and just find myself engaging with what comes along that. I don't miss it, but I am fully aware it is not there.

So I turn to this, and to my profile as an outlet,- I need to express myself, unchallenged, and the latter provides a perfect outlet. I'm not sure if anybody reads it, as became apparent last year when I changed my heading to Birthday Girl and only one fan noticed, but I continue and a week or so later, the comments are coming in.

The site I use is Guardian Soul Mates, or SM as I refer to it, and as it seems and feels, or else Soul Destroying/ers.. though that degree of cynicism is fairly short-lived.

The set-up is as follows: you pick a user-name/alter-ego/moniker with a tag-line that will run beneath, next to your photo (if you chose to show them) and a summary of your basic details, age, location, when the profile was last updated, and when the member last logged on. Then the profie can be expanded into various summaries, and two textual passages, - why you should get to know me? And,- describe your ideal match.

Why you should get to know me? has always said:

Such a small space to describe myself, and only the (un)usual adjectives and cliches apply. On paper these may whet the appetite, but in reality opportunity, uniqueness and fortune combine.

Underneath I add; Anecdote of the day. And I write the following.

When I was about 6 or 7, not sure which, my teacher told me I was erractic. I went home and told my Mother I was erotic. Used to my imaginative flights of fancy, even then, and occasional confusion, she laughed and said,- No I'm not sure if that's what she meant.

It has been said I am a beguiling, if bamboozling mix of the two.